A Bitter Anniversary
by natsora
Summary: Why is an anniversary special? Isn't it just another day? What makes 365 days passing something worthy of commemorating? But the heart does what the heart wants. A year since the arrival of the Hyperion to Andromeda, Sara stands at the stage ready to receive honour on behalf of her father.


A Bitter Anniversary

Tags:

Bad Things Happen, Angst, Comfort, Post-Meridian, Post-Canon, Grief, Anniversary

Summary:

Why is an anniversary special? Isn't it just another day? What makes 365 days passing something worthy of commemorating? But the heart does what the heart wants. A year since the arrival of the Hyperion to Andromeda, Sara stands at the stage ready to receive honour on behalf of her father.

_Prompt fill for Reopening an Old Wound for Obividalous, Female Ryder and Reyes Vidal_

Reyes pulled his collar higher knowing it's doing shit all hiding him from the Tempest crew. He could see Vetra's and Kallo's heads peeking out from among the others. They were seated ten rows ahead, VIPs for the event. He was relatively sure Nexus Security didn't have his photo on file so picking him out from a crowd of hundreds was slim. But the Tempest crew, on the other hand, knew him.

Then, it occured to him he _was_ allowed on the Nexus. Officially, he was a representation of Kadara Port and the Charlatan. Straightening, he cast an eye on the stage. The Nexus hadn't skimmed on expenses for this event. An ornate podium gleamed white and blue stood prominently on a wide stage. The only other pieces of furniture were a few chairs of varying sizes. Some were clearly adjusted to accommodate the size and weight of a krogan. The Initiative logo was projected on a large omni-screen. He sighed and watched it spun around and around.

Reyes wondered if he was being overly romantic with this whole thing. He originally wasn't going to be able to attend. But after much threats and bribery, he got his schedule freed up. And he decided to not tell Sara, hoping to surprise her. It's not exactly lying right?

In truth, he missed her. It's been months since Meridian, months since the whirlwind shore leave she was allowed to take, months since he touched her, hold her, even merely taking in her scent and being in the same room. He groaned. He was being a romantic fool and he knew it. It would take a lot not to jump her the moment he laid eyes on her.

The crowd began to clap. Someone was taking to the stage. Hopefully, the salarian mounting the steps was the master of ceremony and this show was going to be on the damned road. "Ahem, ahem," the salarian tapped against the mic. "Mic check, mic check, is this thing on?"

Reyes groaned. "The things I do for you, woman," he muttered under his breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. No amount of shifting would ease the pins and needles crawling across his ass. He wished the ceremony was already over before it even began.

He couldn't say how long it took, he must have block the memory out because he was bored out of his mind, but eventually Tann stepped up to the podium. "Finally." Straightening, his eyes keen as he scanned the edges of the stage to look for Sara.

"And the woman of the hour," Tann said, his voice booming through multi speakers placed strategically around the venue. "Sara Ryder, the human Pathfinder. Without her, we wouldn't have been able to defeat the Archon and the kett."

There, dressed in white and blue Initiative armour, stood Sara Ryder. His breath hitched. She never failed to take his breath away in the best ways. Striding onto the stage to the applause of all assembled, confident and no small amount of impatience poured from her gait.

Gil clapped as hard as he could while Peebee whistled sharply. Reyes' smile faded from his lips when he noticed the tight set of shoulders and the developing furrow between her brows. The stiff smile stamped on her face fooled everyone but him.

"Alec Ryder," Tann said. "was a famed N7 soldier and the human Pathfinder, but he was also the father to two strong and capable children who took on his mantle with grace and ability."

Reyes took a deep breath, his eyes focused on the screen. The camera was trained on Sara. Her face was thrown up on the screens set up to allow the audience a clearer view of the event. He sighed, he had a bad feeling about this.

"And on this day, the anniversary of the Hyperion arrival to Habitat Seven—" Sara's brow tightened, her jaw twitched. "—and in honour of your father and all that you and your brother had contributed to the effort in creating a new home for all of us in Andromeda, we're re-naming Habitat Seven to Ryder-01."

The image cut to show a wider shot of the pair. Tann was holding a globe in his hand, the words Ryder-01 wrapped around what would have been the equator of the planet. He thrusted it towards Sara. She smiled, teeth showing as she accepted. Were it anyone else, they would have believed Sara Ryder was happy to be there, to accept the honour but Reyes wasn't just anyone. He knew her. She was probably praying for this to be over.

Tann gestured her towards the podium and she marched towards it like it was her execution. Holding the globe awkwardly, she spoke. "Thank you," her voice broke and she turned away to clear her throat. "Fuck," the curse was clearly picked up by the mic. Turning back, she took a deep breath, "Thank you, Director Tann for the honour. I can't tell you how much me and my brother knew our father would appreciate the gesture."

Reyes wasn't paying attention to Sara's speech. It all rang false. Her words were laced with a note of stiff preparedness. They were strung together into sentences and forced through her mouth for the sake of appearances. They didn't belonged to her.

"This was a disaster," he muttered.

* * *

The ceremony was over. The press surged forward with their cameras hovering around those on stage. Mics thrusted into faces, flash flickering away, shoot vids and taking photos for posterity. Sara was there among those accosted, but Reyes lost sight of her in the press of people as the audience stood to leave. Fighting his way through the crowd took a little time. When he got to the stage, it was empty save for Tann. He was droning on and on about the good Alec Ryder had done for the Initiative and his plans for the future.

Reyes tuned him out. Eyes seeking but not finding Sara. She had left.

Frustrated, he was tempted to call her but this was meant to be a surprise. It'd be a shitty one if he announced his presence when he was this close to success.

"What are you doing here" a voice asked. Reyes whirled around, hand going to his pistol only to remember he had left it on his shuttle. The tightness across his shoulders eased when he realised it was Scott.

"Were you invited too?" Scott asked, his voice rough with a frown etching its way into his forehead.

Reyes stilled, half wondering if Scott disapproved of their relationship. Scott sighed and shook his head. "Sorry. It's not you. It's Tann and this whole fucking—" he turned and glared at Tann who was still going on, "—thing. Politicians need their feel-fucking-good stories regardless what old wounds they pick at in the process."

Reyes didn't like the sound of that. If Scott was this upset as well, it's imperative he find Sara. He didn't like how upset she looked. "Do you know where—"

Scott growled low in his throat. "After this, I need a drink to wash the taste out of my mouth. See you around Reyes." With that, he trudged off in the direction of Vortex, muttering foul curses about Tann.

He scrubbed his face and exhaled. "Now what?"

The venue had emptied out. It's clear Sara wasn't here if she hadn't escaped the moment she could. Logic would dictate if Scott needed a drink, Sara would need one too. He turned and followed Scott.

* * *

Vortex was loud and rowdy, more so than usual. Maybe it's the people traveling in from the outposts just to witness the ceremony, maybe it's just the Pathfinders and their crew being on station at the same time. A solid bass line thumped against his temples as he stepped in. Everything looked squeaky clean, everything from the floor and furnishings down to the smiles on people's faces. These were people who didn't know what it was like to scrape a living off bare rocks. He was missing Tartarus already. At least things were a little more honest there.

Reyes pushed his way through the crowd, his thoughts never strayed far from Sara. The story was well known, how Sara became Pathfinder, pushed out as part of a initial face-saving measure to explain why she was running out on the various outposts. She didn't speak of her father much, but he knew she barely had time to process, let alone mourn his death. Family would always be complicated, it's inevitable. The Ryder family was more complex than most. Having her father laid down his life for hers was tangling emotions and grief into a gnarly knot of festering sour guilt. Now, Tann all but rubbed it in her face, it's just forcing salt into her wounds.

He spotted Peebee and Gil at the bar and headed right over. "Hey, you guys seen Sara?"

"Reyes!" Peebee shouted, waving her arms around before attempting to hug him.

Reyes jerked backwards as Gil held the asari back. "How much had she have?" he asked.

Gil rolled his eyes. "Too much, too fast. She tried one of the new concoctions by Dutch made."

"Do you know where Sara is?" this question Reyes directed at Gil since Peebee was of no help.

But Peebee answered before Gil could, "Sara? Isn't she there on the stage dancing?"

Reyes followed the length of Peebee's arm down to her finger tip to find no Sara on the stage.

"Got you!" Peebee laughed uproariously as if it's the best joke ever uttered in the history of time.

Gil sighed. Turning towards Dutch, "What the hell did you put into that cocktail?"

Dutch cocked his head. "I didn't know the angara spices hits asari this hard."

Reyes stood and stared as the pair descended deep into conversation while Peebee swayed in time to the music. Frustration mounting, he turned to leave. Sara was clearly not at Vortex. Maybe she had returned to the Tempest to hide out. It's not uncommon for her to hide away from others when she's hurt.

* * *

The Tempest wasn't hard to locate. It's docked at its usual spot. But what's difficult was gaining access to it. The airlock separating the Nexus from the ship had a holo-lock that glowed red. "Fuck," he cursed.

He pressed his palm against the lock. It beeped a negative and remained a stubborn red. He slapped the lock again and again. It would ping someone on board the Tempest, if nothing else to notify them of a guest ringing their door bell. It's unlikely nobody was on board even if they were docked on the Nexus. Eventually an angry rumble came through the comms, "Who the fuck is outside?"

It sounded like Drack.

"It's me, Reyes."

"Oh. What are you doing outside?" Drack asked. "Never mind stupid question. Come on in."

The holo-lock cycled and turned green. Reyes rolled his eyes ceiling-wards, thanking whatever gods that existed in Andromeda for the tiny step forward in his quest to find Sara. Stepping on board, he was hit once again how small it really was. And this was the ship that took on the Archon and won, housing ordinary people doing some amazing things every single day.

One quick circuit of the Tempest told him what he needed to know. Sara was not here. He found Drack in the gallery cooking some soup, adhi if he had to guess.

"Is the stupid ceremony over?" Drack asked.

Reyes nodded. "Have you seen Sara?"

"No," Drack tasted the soup right out of the ladle, the utensil looked positively tiny in his hand. "I've not seen the kid since the bunch took off earlier this morning. It went sour?"

Reyes grimaced. "Not quite. But I'm looking for her."

"Told the kid to tell Tann to fuck off. What's this about honouring a dead man when we're all busy making sure we all stay the fuck alive to colonise. Bah!" he growled turning his back on Reyes.

Now, Reyes was a smart man and disturbing a krogan who's clearly annoyed was not a smart thing to do but he's still trying to find Sara. Why was it so difficult? Before he could speak, Drack pointed at him with the ladle. Flecks of adhi soup swung in his direction, Reyes jerked backwards neatly stepping beyond the range of the food based projectile. And Drack grinned approvingly. This was clearly a test but what was it for Reyes had no idea.

"You can't find the kid?" Drack asked.

Reyes shook his head. "Do you know where she is?"

"Well, she's not here for sure. I can't help you path find your way to the Pathfinder," Drack snorted at his own joke.

Reyes closed his eyes for a moment. This wasn't supposed to be so complicated. The longer he couldn't find Sara, the more worried he became. Not that he thought Sara would do something stupid, he just didn't want her to hurt alone. Nobody deserved to have what Sara and Scott just went through. Having their family pain dragged out into the public and it being celebrated like it's a good thing.

Standing right outside of Sara's quarters, he stared at the door. Obviously, the door was locked and Drack said he hadn't seen her on the Tempest. But that's not to say she couldn't have slipped in while he's cooking.

"SAM."

"Yes, Mr. Vidal."

"Where is Sara?"

"The Pathfinder had turned on Do No Disturb mode. I cannot answer that question."

Reyes squeezed the bridge of his nose. This was getting more frustrating by the minute. "I just want to know if she is safe, that she is ok."

Silence greeted his question. For a moment, he wondered if SAM was just thinking about his answer. But an AI would think faster than he could blink, so that wasn't it. The silence was the answer.

"So she's not ok?"

More silence. He refrained from sighing, SAM was just acting on Sara's instructions. "Should I be calling Cora and getting the others together to find Sara then?"

"No, Mr. Vidal. That would not be advised."

"Ok, answer me this. Is Sara on board the Tempest."

"No, she is not here."

"What about the Nexus?"

"Yes."

That was all Reyes needed. He tossed a goodbye over his shoulder to Drack and walked briskly back to the Nexus. But the space station was large, where the fuck was he supposed to start finding someone who didn't want to be found? In his haste to do something, he collided into someone. Pain flashed up his side as hard armour dug into his ribs. Staggering a couple of steps backwards, he growled, "Fuck, watch—"

Vetra looked back at him. "Reyes? What are you doing here?"

He rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Right, right, it's obvious you're here for Sara."

"Do _you_ know where she is?" The question came out tired, the words scattered on the floor like they was too heavy for his lips.

"As a matter of fact, I'll suggest you look into Kesh's office."

Reyes straightened, his eyes bright and keen again. "I have no idea how to thank you." Vetra's eyes narrowed and he amended. "Oh, it just came to me that I might have a bottle of Turian wine to send your way as thanks."

She laughed. "I'll look forward to receiving it then. See you around, Reyes."

He didn't need any more prompting as his legs ate up the distance. Kesh's office wasn't locked, it's a good sign in his books. Palm brushing against the lock, the door swished open silently. It was utterly dark inside.

Reyes' jaw tightened. Did Vetra play him for a fool? Was this all a joke to her? Then, he heard a sniff. He stiffened and waited. Another sniff, a little softer than the previous one. Stepping in, the motion sensor lights flickered on. There was an audible groan. "Fuck off Vetra, leave me alone," came the rough broken voice.

* * *

Sara brushed at her eyes furiously. She hated this, hated the tears. Why the fuck was she crying? It made no sense. She couldn't explain when Vetra asked because she didn't know it herself. It's just a fucking simple ceremony. Walk up the fucking stage, take that stupid little globe, refrain from smashing it into Tann's face, say some shitty little speech and then walk off. How fucking hard was that?

Well, it was hard enough she put Tann off for months.

Now it's fucking over. And what was she doing? Hiding out in Kesh's office like a stupid little girl, crying her fucking eyes out. Furious and angry, she rubbed at her eyes as she took another swig at the bottle of whiskey.

Just because Tann had reminded her that her father was dead, picking the first anniversary of his death to do this fucking ceremony. And it had reduced her to this? The Archon couldn't make her bend and this did. Today was just another day, no different from yesterday or tomorrow. But somehow everything was harder today. She groaned a wordless sound of annoyance and suppressed anger that had nowhere to go but inwards. It's far better she vented the rage by herself than take it out on undeserving people.

The lights snapped on. It must be Vetra again.

But when Sara looked up from the corner she had wedged herself into, it was Reyes' eyes she found. Her eyes widened. His cheeks were a little flushed as if he had been running, his hair mussed up despite the sharp outfit he wore. She couldn't help herself. Her eyes roved, giving him a once over as her breath lodged painfully in her chest. White shirt opened at the chest tastefully hugged his shoulders and chest like a second skin, sleeves folded up to above his elbows, a deep blue vest drew her eyes as a pair of jeans and boots completed the outfit. This was a very different Reyes Vidal. He had an incredible ability to take her breath away, over and over again.

When their eyes met, she read relief that quickly gave way to worry. She grimaced.

"Fuck," she knew how she must look. The tears had stopped, but they had painted streaks into her face. There was no hiding she had been crying. Eyes red-rimmed and slightly swollen, a bottle of whiskey half drunk clasped lightly between her fingers, she was a fucking mess.

"Sara." Reyes remained near the door where he had triggered motion sensor lights.

Her name spilled from those lips with such tenderness and something in her chest shifted. She tightened her jaw against the lump that formed in her throat. "What are you doing here? How are you not arrested on sight?" she asked, clearing her throat to get rid of that awful lump.

"I'm legit, remember? You helped me." Reyes approached. His steps careful and tentative like she was some skittish animal ready to bolt.

Sara snorted and rolled her eyes. Taking another pull from the bottle, the whiskey seared her throat. Maybe it would get rid of the lump in her throat.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, eyes narrowing at Reyes. Irritability a hard mask drawn over her face to hide how raw and vulnerable she felt. "Are you here to drag me off to that fucking little party Tann is holding?"

Reyes rolled his eyes, mimicking her. "That's not my kind of party," he replied, stepping closer with every word. "I'll prefer a party of a more intimate kind."

"Oh?" An eyebrow arched knowingly. Sara couldn't help rising to the challenge in his voice. "How intimate?"

By this point, Reyes stood before her, a hand stretched out at her. It was an offer and a challenge all rolled into one. "Take my hand and find out." He smirked.

Her teeth worried at her lower lip, half wishing to be left alone to wallow in the nameless sorrow lodged against her chest, half wanting Reyes to erase everything horrible she was feeling. Taking a deep breath, she took his hand. Reyes tugged at her arm unexpectedly as she rose to her feet. She stumbled and landed against his chest.

"You did that on purpose," she accused, her cheek pressed against his chest.

"Guilty as charged," he chuckled, his free arm coming around her shoulders.

She wasn't just held, she was protected, desired and comforted. It was a feeling she missed since she was the Pathfinder, while she was looked upon as the solution to everyone's problems. Sometimes, she needed a strong back, a caring shoulder too. The lump in her throat grew three sizes despite her best efforts. Reyes hummed a sound of contentment, tucking his chin over her head, nuzzling into her hair. His chest vibrated against her cheek as she closed her eyes. She inhaled, taking in his scent, musky and earthy, just like Kadara. This was her tiny piece of paradise.

For a while they stayed that way, neither speaking, neither moving. A small silver of time locked away where nothing was wrong, nothing needed her attention and Reyes was here. But he just had to speak.

"What's wrong?"

Her breath hitched. Everything? Nothing? "Tann," she gritted out eventually.

"When is Tann ever right?"

She chuckled, it sounded a little brittle, a little sharp. "And this entire shit show."

He pulled away, eyes darting to look deep into hers as his hands cupped her face. She averted her eyes and buried her face into his chest again. A deep sigh escaped her lips. Words were too hard today.

"Shit," he muttered. "It's today, isn't it? How the fuck did I forget?"

"Well why the fuck should you remember?" Sara asked, the words were broken shards ripping up her throat. "It's just another day. An ordinary day where I get some fucking globe that says a whole fucking planet is named after my fucking father who left me a fucking mess to clean up."

Her words ended with a growl. She pushed away from him long enough to wash the bitter taste down with a long pull of whiskey before settling back against him. Holding back tears with an iron will, she refused to cry again. It's stupid. She had told her tears to fuck off and they'd better obey.

Reyes sighed, pressing a kiss against her forehead. "Is that whiskey just for moping Pathfinders? Or will you share? Do you need to write a report to Tann or something?"

Sara stepped away and glared at him. Annoyance raised like a snapping dog. She knew what he was up to. This was distraction. After all, this wasn't a hurt he could fix. She couldn't fix it, let alone him. "Fuck Tann."

"God, fuck no. Fuck me instead," he said, winking at her.

Sara laughed, true mirth scattering the cobwebs of hurt. "Sure, why not?" she said, passing him the bottle. "Let's do it in Tann's office."

His eyes sparkled with mischievousness and glee as a grin stretched her lips. "His table," they said in unison before laughing.

"But how?" Reyes asked, frowning as he tried to work out the logistics of it. "There's the security at his door and…"

Sara snorted and shook her head. "Why don't we just walk right in? I mean…" her eyebrow rose suggestively as she took his hand, fingers interlacing with his. She tugged him towards the door. "He's at some fucking party now. It will be empty. We can have our own fucking party too."

Reyes looked at her, a question in his eyes which rapidly turned to a smirk. "A fucking party eh?"

She grinned, this time it reached her eyes, enjoying that she could still surprise him. "Come on. We have no time to lose."

With that, they exited Kesh's office. Her hurt could keep for another day. The grief would be there when she had time to process but here and now, she was not going to waste any more time or tears dwelling on it. They had a table to defile.


End file.
